The Lungi dance... Aspiration or Desperation?

Dear Mr. SRK,
Been brought up worshiping Bollywood in the heartland of Kollywood, I have always been and am your fan. I write this letter not to scorn you but to sympathize with you, for you are an Honorable Man :P. In DDLJ you showed the world (except Mumbai local train commuters) the best way to get into moving trains. You made the Satya watching, RGV fans view the romantic run-in-slow-motion in the field sequences in loop. You showed the world how the mere stretching of your hands (and your hands alone) in slow motion again, creates a magnetic pull that draws women towards you. You inspired and heavily funded a team lead my Gautam Gambhir to win an IPL. Ha! You sir are a living Legend. But you also made a song video as part of your soon-to-be released movie, 'Chennai Express' as a tribute to an actor sung by Honey Singh (oops, missed the Yo Yo part :P ).

Please click on the video. (View at your own risk)

I am amazed and truly intrigued to know why a mega legendary star like you, the Baadshah(King) of Bollywood would want to piggy bag on the modest popularity (Highest paid Indian actor with the biggest and craziest fan base, with first day shows premiered from 4am) of Mr. Shivajirao Gaikwad a.k.a Superstar Rajinikanth, the Thalaivar meaning 'Head of Heads??' Someone once told me that as one goes higher and higher to the top, they get more and more insecure. If you say that you aren't insecure, either the above line is flawed or you just aren't going higher. I know you desperately need a hit but here is why I don't think it's a good idea for you to have made this video.

• Yes, we Rajini fans do get hysterical with joy when we see our Thalaivar on screen but we definitely can't tolerate it when you, the badminton champ's daughter in a baby pink chiffon and 50 odd extras with lungis are jumping around. You should have just vacated the space and left just Thalaivar's poster.
• Yes, the song is mildly catchy, and its a good idea to have a tie-up with the Yo Yo fella, but since 'everyone' is doing that, it brings down your equity.
• Why the Thalaivar? You did it mildly in Ra.One and now its bigger. By this association and tribute too, you are bringing down your brand image. Where is your self-confidence? Where is the SRK who comes on every channel and claims that 'He is King' (in a more refined version of Muhammad Ali)?

I read that the Thalaivar did give his consent to go ahead with this song. But whatever PR that I know you would do and are doing now, if this movie fails to impress, (impress = keeps me in the theatre through the length of the movie and not make me curse myself at the end of it), then you may lose a fan. You may have millions of fans but I have just a handful of people like you to idolize. ( a modified senti dialogue from Thalaivar's movie :P ) So it's important to me that I don't cease to be your fan. I want to see the SRK who walked and talked like the true Baadshah. The witty, suave SRK who let me be mesmerized watching Don, Kal Ho Na Ho, Baazigar and many others.

A fan with fingers crossed (well not literally, duh),
VB :)

SUPERMAN, BATMAN ... SALESMAN!! - Part2 - Authors!

The Shiva Trilogy: 1.7 Million Copies…Rs 40 Crores in earnings

The Shiva trilogy with its three books The Immortals of Meluha, The Secret of the Nagas and the latest being the Oath of the Vayuputras is a revolution both in terms of literary magnificence and as a marketing marvel. The series is quite simply about the life of the ruthless warrior, passionate lover, majestic dancer, the pot smoking ‘cool God’, Lord Shiva. The man behind all of this is its author, a genius marketer, Mr Amish Tripathi.

20 rejections before his first but Rs 5 Crore much before his next    

Amish’s work of the Immortals of Meluha was turned down by around 20 publishers before Westland Ltd. agreed to publish it. Westland has been laughing away to the bank and has also been generous enough by offering a whooping Rs5 Crore to Amish for his ‘yet to be even thought of’ book.

The unique Positioning

The main reason his work was rejected by so many publishers initially was because of the fact that they were all confused about its positioning. Was it mythology, fiction, fantasy or philosophy? This book has brought in a new positioning of Mythological Fiction which sure has been well received and has several other authors cashing in with more releases in this genre.

The Author and his little mystery that sells

Following the likes of Chetan Bhagat and Karan Bajaj, the IIT/IIM educated boring-banker-turned-cool-writer tag has had a positive impact on building the brand value books. Amish Tripathi has a similar background but what some research about the author reveals which is not mentioned in the book is the fact that Amish was initially an atheist and the spirit of Lord Shiva drew him to become his religious follower. This generates curiosity in the minds of the reader and curiosity sells.

The marketing on the book cover – 5 second attraction

It’s normal for books to have testimonials on its covers but here is what Amish did differently. He believed that the story and the feel of the theme should be conveyed in 5 seconds as soon as someone gets hold of it. This is portrayed by the spectacular artwork and a single line that conveys the story. The Immortals of Meluha carried the line – ‘THE STORY OF A MAN, WHOM LEGEND TURNED INTO A GOD.’  

Videos, Sounds tracks & Social media – another list of firsts

Marketing of books were a concept still very nascent in India. In my view the best marketing move made by Amish was the release of the video that became a sensation on YouTube. The series of videos or trailers gave the viewers a glimpse of the story and there were also separate videos about prominent characters of the book. This method of advertising the characters rather than the story or theme is a successful strategy used by Hollywood greats like Quentin Tarantino and by some Indian movies like Shootout at Lokhandwala.

Think WhyNot, the creative agency behind the great work with the book’s promotions has also come out with a new music album, Vayuputras- Sountrack of Shiva triology books with tracks sung by musical heavyweights such as Sonu Nigam Taufiq Qureshi and others. Karan Johar has bagged the rights to make a full length feature film on the book starring Hrithik Roshan and Priyanka Chopra.

Their Facebook page also has a whole range of offerings from allowing you to participate in polls, discussions, providing information about Lord Shiva etc. The author is also quite active on twitter too.

In the Stores… and out on the streets

With fans lining up early in the morning waiting to get their hands on the books, the store managers and other staff members og big stores like Landmark , Crossword etc. have a challenging time the moment the shutters are raised. Apart from the in-store promotions, the store ensures dedicated staff and logistics at the time of release. They also focus on bundling offers with all three books sold as packages with discounts. Even in the streets the sellers of the counterfeit copies have to gear up for the demand. Online shopping options provide big discounts and encourage pre-ordering of the books.

The New age writer – a Marketer in every writer

A Vikram Seth or Amitav Gosh would simply write their book and let the publisher do all the marketing but the times are changing. Readers want to be more connected with the author. Authors have to be active on Twitter, be more open about their personal lives, be present during book launches and ultimately be great marketers. Chetan Bhagat believed in pricing his books less than Rs100, and is very active on social media; Ravi Subramanian actively promotes his books in schools and colleges, likewise the roles of authors today have become more dynamic.

What I like and recommend

The first aspect about the marketing of the book which I loved is the fact that it stayed away from the ‘Hinduism’ tag. It is very easy for a genre like this to be given that branding but the author stayed out of it completely (thanks to the coolness element of the protagonist). I have grown up listening to great stories of Lord Shiva so although these books are not in line with what I know, the fact that it is as close to the ‘believed reality’ as it can be is satisfying. In terms of the creative used, it is pleasing to see the level of curiosity maintained by not revealing the face of the characters and art work that seem like paintings and not cartoons or fantasy-like on the book cover and in promotions.

What I recommend Mr Amish to do is to take this product and make it an international sensation. He can start by making theatre plays of it and staging it on Broadway shows abroad. But ultimately the fact that my 14yr old cousin and 91yr old grandfather read it with the same enthusiasm makes it an evergreen winner.  

A Guide to the 6 Best Social Media Jobs by 'Six Little Big Things' !!!

On Facebook, Twitter or Blogs all day long? Here are 6 ways to make money out of it... 6LittleBigThings Brings you a kind-of wacky presentation of the coolest 6 Jobs in the Social Media space. 

for more like: www.facebook.com/6LittleBigThings

this video was made part of a Social Media Class exercise. The characters in the video are real and are graded based on your 'like' of the same. ;)

SUPERMAN, BATMAN ... SALESMAN!! - Part1 - @ the traffic signal!

No matter what B-schools teach you, or marketing workshops demonstrate or the best of the bestsellers express, nothing quite compensates for the on field experience when it comes to a sales job. One of my greatest fascinations has been the traffic signal salesmen, well salesBOYS or salesKIDS actually. The 'dudes' who tap on your car window when you are in the most frustrated state because you have just been stalled for a few seconds by the red signal (otherwise you would have gone and saved Rapunzel :P) and yet try and make a sale. Virtually anyone who has a flashy educational qualification from a fancy college, has a decent amount of work experience and has a few friends at high places to endorse anything that they say or write  has written or is in the process of writing a book to throw general gyaan to the world. So if our SALESDUDE here were to write a book on Marketing I am pretty sure he will do a great job (without testimonials on the first page of course) and do an even better job of selling it :P. The following are the aspects that he would definitely have to cover, well in his own way.

Segmentation & Targeting - He knows his customers when he sees them. Pot-bellied, Paan chewing, post 50yrs dyed hair man on a scooter with 'Jai Maharashtra' stuck all over it is not his customer.

Positioning - The customers get just one glace at the books he is carrying. So his window of sale or the aperture is only for those few seconds. The SalesDUDE understanding this the best. He is left with only a pair of hands with which he works wonders with its positioning right from stacking them up right to displaying the titles at eye levels of the customers.

Product - Only the latest or the best of the best sellers are sold in his collection.

Price - Most of them don't work on a fixed price basis. He milks the ones who don't bother too much about price and whose eyes brighten up on seeing the book and has his bargain fights with the ones who just want to make a cheap quick buy.

Promotion - The promotion for all his products are already done by the original manufacturers or owners of the book. ;)

Place - It is very crucial for him to be in the right place at the right time.

Brand Building - Quickest service with the latest collections, the best deals is the only brand he will ever build.

Brand Obesity -  It is important that he does not overload himseld with a variety of books. He has to pick and choose the right collections that the market needs.

Velocity - Unsold stock is his worst nightmare. So if and when he smells his stock piling up, he will sell it at a throw away price (perfect understanding of Fixed cost, variable cost blah blah)

Competition - He takes on the biggest players in the market. Be it online medium or the stores whatever be the discount they all require the customers to come to them but only in this case the SalesDUDE goes to the customer.

Appearance - However insensitive this might sound, the poorer he looks the better the chances of his making a sale. So the books that talk about 'Power Dressing' or bosses who insist on polished shoes and expensive suits to have an effect on the sale would be totally disproved.

His biggest challenge, his worst Boss - The traffic signal... This is what makes his job the toughest sales job in the world. Quite simply because he has to manage his marketing (Segmentation, targeting and positing), his sales pitch, respond to customer's queries, fight the customer's dilemma, make the sale, deliver the product, collect the cash and return the exact change ALL BEFORE THE COUNTDOWN OF THE SIGNAL DROPS TO ZERO.

Ab-bridged : Assam Diaries

Deep into the mysteries of North Eastern parts of India... The beauty of the rusticity and tranquility of nature... 
At Muhuramukh, Golaghat District, Assam, India

http://bharath2488.deviantart.com/gallery/

One hell of a trip...with awesomely weird company, Lavanya and Sriram, and the whole Muhura bunch, from the 4km walks to Kharab Ji to Creepy Ji to several other "Ji's" to the morning company and basically "surviving"

Creatively Crippled Superheros

I don't seem to understand the logic behind naming superheroes? Superman gets his name because he is 'super'. Batman because he is like a Bat (nocturnal), Spiderman because he moves like a Spider. Uh!! These are so terribly lame.
But when it comes to naming, the whole 'superhero creating' world is not as creatively crippled as the creators of the above superheroes.
Thinking of the good ones, Marvel Comics' X-Men, I feel, have the best names like Wolverine, Cyclops, Gambit and my favourite, Magneto. The unconventionally spectacular Frank Miller has a class of his own, with the characters of Sin City being on of my all time favourites.
Well, whatever their names are, the superheroes will continue to mesmerise us, but creative heads take note, the audience is getting smarter and from a whole range of Superheroes to choose from, the name is the first magnet you stick out to attract, so it better be good.

Eshmile please...

Your wedding day is quite easily the most momentous day of your life, so the best way to immortalise that blessed day is to capture those precious moments. No wedding is complete without a photographer. Due to the rapid advancements in technology, virtually everyone is seen snapping away with their camera, so why do you really need a professional photographer for your wedding?
Dumb question some would say, but the answer is simply this; everyone has something to do that day which makes it mandatory for a third person to step in and take charge of this department. The photographer's job is to capture all the moments with the people involved in the wedding and to compile it into one indelible photo album(video). But the job isn't as easy as it seems. There is nothing worse than getting the photographs back only to realize that you haven't photographed the couple with grandpa, or completely left out your neighbour from the photo session.
The photographer is expected to have a good understanding of the sequence of the wedding process in order to position himself at the right place at the right time, have a clear view of the close family members, have considerable coverage of those V.I.Ps who attend the wedding not neglecting the couple even for a moment. For this he has to be swift, coordinate perfectly well with his team, and above all be very assertive in order to get that perfect shot because being bashful will get him nowhere.
I, personally am no a big fan of photos that are orchestrated by the photographer that help the people in the photograph flaunt their new necklace or do a quick make-up check/hair check or display that ornate design on their silk saree. The standout ones are those candid shots the photographer is able to capture, of the look of commitment and trust between the couple, the moist eyes of happiness in the parents, the innumerable hugs of affection and the list goes on. Anything can go wrong on the wedding day, but the chaos, mishaps, goof ups make the wedding a memorable one. So the photographer has to be prepared for anything.
The digital age has made their job a lot easier and more challenging at the same time. Easy and instant photo sharing options, immediate viewing of the photographs on big screens at the wedding itself and online uploads for those who missed the event have made photography a lot more enjoyable. Also remember that weddings are extremely stressful so it is important for the photographer to blend with the crowd, understand the way the people are, operate with a theme in mind and ultimately revel on that day for best results.
It's the moments that take your breath away, CAPTURE them! :)

Immortalised Accessories(Roles)

"Hasta la vista, baby" , I said, staring at the mirror while I was trying out a pair of shades, envisioning myself to be Arnold from Terminator2 for which the sales guy goes, "may I help you sir." I am sure this has happened to almost everyone. This just shows the role accessories have played in immortalising characters. Whether its the actor or the accessory that has immortalised the role, is subjective.
Indie's Whip and Hat in Indiana Jones, Rambo's knife, Lee Van Cleef and Clint Eastwood's shootout scene in For a few Dollars More, Kate Winslet's necklace in Titanic have been etched in our minds.
The same accessories have been used by many others but what makes us say, "OH YEAH!" when these people use them? It is the way these geniuses carry it off. In spite of watching countless Western movies with actors dawning hats and whips, Jones enthralled audiences by using them in the most ritzy manner. Kate Winslet made magic with JUST a necklace in Titanic.
Everytime you wear a tuxedo, there is that moment when you wish you had a pistol, a woman to bill and coo, and a name that rhymes with "Bond, James Bond."
There are other greats in the film industry who have been associated with stuff like cigars, alcohol, pipes etc. but according to me, they ain't the true 'heroes'. But that apart, actors continue to captivate audiences with/ without the accessories that makes them legendary idols.

The 'S curves' of reality TV

If I were to rate the top rescue operations ever, the one that would top the list would not be 'Operation Entebbe' or 'T20 rescuing people from Test Cricket', it would be 'The Introduction of Reality TV' saving the youth from sitting by the dinner table with their parents everyday, consuming precious prime time watching Soap after soap after soap.;)
95% of the reality shows are targeted at the youth (the 'youngistan' ;)) based on purely the insanely large number of wannabes in our country today. But every show , unless it's a mega serial has to have a saturation point at the end of its S curve. This instils a compulsive need for the makers of these shows to constantly innovate.
MTV's Roadies has been a clear winner in terms of TRPs but since the departure of the baldies, Raghu and Ragiv from MTV, the competition has opened up. This just shows how reality TV has made hosts/creative directors of these shows, 'Superheroes' also justifying Color's successful gamble to robe in the big B (Not me, the oldie;)) for BIG BOSS.
So with the understanding that innovation is the key, 'sadism rules' and youngistan love to watch and make fun of wannabes, and with loads of more doltish reality shows from 'Rakhi ka Swayamvar' to 'Splitsvilla', Bindass has come up with the 'ingenious', EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR. The show that takes candid cameras and sting operations to a new level exposing crooked relationships and double timers. This show is a massive HIT but the problem is again, that its S curve is small, so people are going to get bored of it very soon. Roadies has been able to survive 7 seasons not only because of the baldies, but because of the fact that the show has matured, technically and psychologically. In spite of the fact that the roadies 7 auditions didn't have the original sting, the show is alive because Bumpy, the director of roadies 7 has his own style of running it.
Overall whatever be the show, no matter how asinine it is (the more asinine, the better it is) there will be an audience, provided the makers are mindful of the 'saturation point'.

Ruchika's Case ..... Next is What?

Frankly, I get affected by very few cases/scandals that make it big on the News because in most of the cases, the fault is on both the sides, with the side with a fatter wallet having the last laugh. But the Ruchika Case got me wondering....
I can't stop appreciating the press especially Times Now for their rather fiery, relentless efforts giving this case all the exposure it needed. So the court rooms have woken up and the case will hopefully take the path it should, but what next, after the case is over????
MOVIE!!!! Yes, this case is perfect movie material. I bet film makers have already started researching and penning down a script based on this. Former Haryana DGP SPS Rathore would of course make the perfect villain. It would be a classic tale of good winning over bad, right at the very end with the most electrifying court scenes which we in India relish.

Promenade

Phew!!! A painting after almost a year.




For more visit http://bharath2488.deviantart.com/

KurBANAL

Would you be alive after a deadly explosive, fabricated to kill hundreds explodes a meter away from you? Well the firang FBI agent in KURBAAN was. This was the level of banality and doltishness this film offered.
Starting with the plot, . . . I don't even want to talk about it. If you have seen the Katrina Kaif, Irfan Khan starrer New York, then this is pretty much the same. The usual muslim turns terrorist story. The desperate attempts to bring twists and turns into the film are barely exciting and are a total failure. Saif and Kareena are devoid of emotion. Kher and OmPuri have been wasted. Vivek Oberoi, I must say has done a good job(as usual) but dear Mr.Oberoi, consult an astrologer, you are a very 'unlucky star'.

Now why did I decide to watch this film?
1. TOI gave it 3 and a half stars
2. The Kurbaan hua song video, with the Adam and Eve concept and the rose catching fire was brilliant so I premised, the movie would be half as good.
3. I had great company(Although it was a crappy movie, the seven of us made sure we had fun)
4. I had to choose between this and 2012.

If you haven't watched any film that is even remotely close to terrorism, or bomb blasts or gangsters etc. and you are spending your miserable life watching 'happily ever after' stories with angels and magic wands, and don't know how to spend your papa ka paisa, then you might want to watch this film.
Overall a thumbs down from me. A BIG thank you to the front row audience who, with their humorous parodies kept us entertained.

Kaminey - Fortitude

Searching for that titillating sting in your movie watching experience? Then go watch Vishal Bharadwaj's latest masterpiece, KAMINEY. This latest desi gangster flick stars Shahid Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra and Amole Gupte. The twins Charlie and Guddu, both played by Shahid Kapoor lead their separate lives until one fateful day, when their lives intersect which sends them both on the most dreadful roller coaster rides. The story is basically a solution to the following problems:-
Problem 1: Priyanka Chopra(Sweety) is Guddu's love interest but her brother (Amole Gupte), is a politician/gangster in Maharastra, who will not agree to the marriage because Guddu is from Uttar Pradesh. But since they do get married without his consent, they are in trouble.
Problem 2: Charlie, a gangster/aspiring bookie stumbles on a guitar case with dope worth a fortune. But he cant have it that easily because there are two crooked cops working for an international smuggler.
Problem 3(exacerbation): Guddu is mistaken for the wanted Charlie by the cops. Amole Gupte finds Charlie and wants Charlie to help him find Guddu. The good cops want to pin down the nasty ones.
So, to sum it all up, everyone is after everyone else which culminates into a dramatic bloodbath at the end which results in our main three characters, Guddu, Charlie and Sweety, living happily ever after(Ha! the spoiler)

But there is more to it than just the plot. VB's (Vishal Bharadwaj, not V.Bharath), bewitching BGM. Dhan Te Nan has become a cult number and every time its played in the background, its tantalising. There is also a magical guitar tune played whenever the guitar with dope is featured, which reminds you of the BGM scores of Desperado.
VB has done well to distinct Kaminey from cliché twin stories buy not amplifying the senti scenes too much. Yes, there is quite an exuberant influence of Tarentino, Rodriguez and Guy Ritchie in his style of film making but the scenes with Guddu and Sweety, bethinks you that it is still blithely Bollywood.
There is a lot of Bengali and Marati being spoken, which i thought should have been accompanied with subtitles. So that's just going to make the Original DVD with the subtitles bring in a lot of cash. Overall i would give it an 8/10.

Where is the Desi Sci-Fi?

I was left stupefied after just watching the trailers of G:I:Joe- Rise of the Cobra and 2012. These two are soon to be releasing high budget films made with an overdose of CG (Computer Graphics). It was just natural for me to sit back and collate Hollywood films with our Indian films. I asked myself - "Why hasn't any Indian film been able to produce stuff like this?" The answer is quite obvious; financial constraints. I think this is just a crap. I say the amount of money producers pump into CGs is diminutive. Leave alone a film completely made with CGs, there hasn't even been a decent Sci-Fi Indian movie. With the success of films like Koi Mil Gaya, Krish and even Harry Potter in India, we surely know that the Indian audiences love Sci-Fi , Fantasy etc. Indians definitely don't lack the talent, because the big guns in the CG department associated with mighty franchises like The MATRIX have been Indians.
I think Indian films have been devoid of a good solid script and storyline. Animations movies like Hanuman , Pandavas etc have been reasonably successful, largely because they were mythological adaptations. The Anil Kapoor, Sridevi, Ambrish Puri starrer Sci-Fi masala movie , Mr.India(1987), was a blockbuster. This was solely because of the story, an enthralling script with some of the most unforgettable lines and some great songs.
Incorporating our dream songs , fantasy dance routines and make-believe Vijaykanth stunts in Sci-Fi films would make them at least, 'believable'. The animation industry is growing at a tremendous pace and there is a lot of effort to gather funds to improve facilities here. Selvaraghavan's Sci-Fi venture, Aayirathil Oruvan, that will hit the screens soon promises to be a level ahead with respect to CGs. But watch out for 'Sultan the warrior' , an animation film that will feature Superstar Rajnikanth in a new, 'animated avatar'. With Indian production houses tying up with the big names in Hollywood like Fox , WB etc, the future looks intriguing.

The Law is for the Lady

Be a successful businessman, a leading fashion designer, the president of the USA or just an ordinary man trying his best to make ends meet, BEWARE, all it takes to pulverise your life is a woman. We have heard innumerable cases of the lives the rich and the famous(MEN) crumble after a Sexual harassment charge is slammed against them. Almost all these cases are filed by the woman against the man. When was the last time you heard a woman being charged with sexual harassment?...
All a woman has to do is to walk into a police station and file a complaint of sexual harassment (popularly known as eve teasing) against a man; no proof or witnesses required. Next thing you know the chap is picked up for inquiry. But the inquiry session is not what it sounds like. The man is given a choice to fuel the policeman's wallet or is simply beaten to pulp. The law is constructed to take the side of the woman in these cases, thanks to a disgraced set of moronic perverts the male race bears. Woman are perceived to be an embodiment of care, love,purity blah blah blah, but are capable of causing more trauma to men than you can ever imagine.
Disclosure, by Michael Crichton is a book (also a film starring Demi Moore and Michael Douglas with the same title) based on a true story about how a false accusation of sexual harassment threatens to devastate a brilliant career and the personal life of a man. Michael Crichton exposes the filth of the corporate world we live in today where people go to any extent to achieve their needs. The books shows how people just assume that the man is guilty when in reality he is just a poor victim.
The respect I have for women is enormous but the fact that women take advantage of their privileges is embittering. I also have nothing against the laws because I believe that if they were framed in any other way the ramifications would have been exacerbating. I am glad that it is "Ladies First" in our world but the lady must live up to it. As for the men BEWARE, you'll never know the taste of poison till you drink it. Above all, be it love, friendship, care, support etc...,remember, its RESPECT that is paramount, respect the Woman, respect the Man.

The DIE HARD COUCH POTATO

Swiss holidays, the Sunset in the Bahamas, Bungee jumping, ........ absolutely nothing is even remotely close to a day spent in front of your television set, with your rear sunk a good 5inches into your snug sofa cushions, your fingers very tenderly roving through the remote buttons, an occasional sip of bournvita (1.5 spoons of bournvita powder + 2 heaped spoons of sugar + milk) , a packet of potato chips and your leg stretched out to the other end of the couch. Yes, i am the die hard couch potato and i am proud of it..

SAREE SHOPPING..."WHo me? No way"

Whenever there is a alliance fixed for anyone in the family (especially in my rather capacious family), the only thing that titillates the women is the experience of saree shopping, making sure it is expensive and is not the same shade as any of their other million sarees, and of course the idea of flaunting it. So the other day I had to accompany my cousin sister, mother and aunt to the saree store. Don't ask me how they managed to make me go with them, lets just say these women are 'expert persuaders'.
So here we are outside Pothys, the massive clothes store, in Panagal Park. At the entrance was this guy/lady dressed in a massive Teddy bear costume. I waved at him/her but the moron didn't respond, can't blame him/her because i guess he/she would have fallen asleep or would have passed away inside that costume, considering the fact that he/she has been doing the waving even when the temperatures touched 44 degrees.
The stairway at the entrance has eight to ten steps which took us two full minutes to transcend because of the number of people we had to tackle, push, and shoulder. That is how congested it was. We wriggled our way to the Silk Saree section where the ladies found a spot near one counter and started their selection while I found my spot next to a pedestal fan. The place is so congested that I am sure the store spends a fortune on room fresheners because the air conditioners have no effect.
One irksome aspect about women at these stores is that they derive some sort of a sadistic pleasure by asking these poor shopkeepers to stack up, spread, and have a private display of every single saree available knowing fully well they won't be buying them.
Anyway after the billing and all was finally over a sense of relief and triumph that "I SURVIVED" crossed in as we left the store, but it was shot down when my cousin said, "So next stop, Man Mandir." FYI-Man Mandir is a saree store in Nungambakkam. I turned to her in total disgust and asked her , "WHY WHY WHY ME?.. I thought you just bought a saree each?", for which my mother goes, "what we bought now was for the 'main' wedding, what we are going to buy there is for the reception." I was thrown off, i mean i pity my dear uncles, father, and all other earning male members who have to succumb to the ever inflating wish list of their women counterparts.
The Man Mandir experience wasn't too bad. The interiors are tastefully done, the AC works well, you don't have to push, pull stamp feet, waggle yourself in, and they have these extremely comfortable cushioned chairs. A very interesting aspect, or should i say USP of Man Mandir is that their people who help you select the sarees also work as part time models. Meaning , if one wants to pick one saree from a variety of say 5 sarees, these sales people stand up on the counter(which is a good 1.5 feet in width) and actually wear the sarees on top of their shirts and pose as models. So i guess the selection criteria for a job as sales guy in Man Mandir would be - 5ft nothing (anything taller, you would hit your head on the ceiling while standing on the counter), butler English, ability to drape a sari in 2min and fold the longest sari in 30secs, moustache compulsory (or else your identity will be mistaken when you are doing the modelling part) . So that was some day, there was a sense of triumph for the ladies. They consider Sopping to be the greatest stress buster, but i won't get into that, I was just happy to get back home.

India is Deprived...

The IPL(Indian Premier League) T20 Season 2 is undoubtedly a monumental hit. It has snatched away the TRP (Television Rating Points) from all the other channels. SetMax simply rules the prime time slot in India. Half the tournament is over and cricket fans in South Africa have turned it into a carnival. The matches are so engaging that it makes you want to be there.(But Rs.49,990 only SA Holiday through Kingfisher Holidays is not very inviting) But in retrospect, it lacks the sting IPL Season 1 in India had. This season is devoid of the Akshay Kumar Stunt show before the games, the Hariharan Concert, drumming with empty bottles, and most importantly the reverberations of the INDIAN CROWD.
The dhoti clad, bespectacled, Harvard educated Home Minister of India, Mr.Chidambaram took the IPL 2 away. The reason, the inability to provide security at the match venues and for the players at the time of Elections. Yes, politcs definitely has greater precedence over cricket but the Congress govt could have cashed in on the opportunity to suck the votes. By conducting the IPL and the election simultaneously, and successfully the already diminishing faith on the party could have been restored. The attack on the Sri Lankan cricketers in Pakistan has terrified Mr.Chidambaram. By deciding to shift the venue of the IPL, he has portrayed India as a perilous land and also evidently shown that he has no faith in his security force.
Some of the his decisions during his Finance Minister days, like the stimulus packages etc were credible (btw the farmer loan waiver and all were crap). I have great respect towards Dr Manmohan Singh and the Abdullahs but if at all the Congress loose this election, it has to be due to the goof ups by their Home Ministers (be it Mr.Shivraj Patil or Mr.Chidambaram). As for the IPL, Sanath is GOD and GO CHENNAI SUPER KINGS!!!

Painting 1 - Venice!!

275X340 mm , Watercolour Acrylic mix on w/c paper
Click to enlarge
For more Art works visit http://bharath2488.deviantart.com/gallery/

Tickle - 1

hmmm, Tickle is a collection of Mokkais or PJs.....Some, rather all of them are completely idiotic and doltish ....... Also these arent my own creations.....

For best results after the read, slap yourself or bang your head against the hardest wall....

Tickle 1 -

X - What is the time now?

Y - Its 7:11, ya SEVEN ELEVEN.

X - OK then, see you at 9:11, NINE ELEVEN.

Y - Why?

X - Cos there is no 27/11.....